Let me count thy ways:
1) She gets all catty with Phaedra Parks and Kandi Burruss at the Bottle Bar in Buckhead, recounting her time doing the “Jet Of the Week” judging contest with Cynthia Bailey last week with disdain, including the moment she had Cynthia’s assistant “thrown out” by security. (Phaedra said Whitney Houston or Michael Jackson needed security. But Kenya? Really?) Kenya said she felt like the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz and Cynthia was the scarecrow with no brain repeating what she had just said. Cynthia thinks she’s full of herself and disrespectful.
2) Kenya gets pointlessly jealous when her boyfriend Walter (who owns a towing company) said he once asked Kandi on a date but she rejected him. Kenya got real upset at one point, but the multiple tequilas seemed to calm her down.
3) While Cynthia holds an “appreciation” party for NeNe Leakes and her success in Hollywood at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Buckhead, Kenya openly mocks her by saying, “I love you Kandi. I love you Phaedra!” while Cynthia is talking. Then Kenya has the temerity to take the mic and starts her own speech, first by saying, “Enough of the clown show,” followed by this unctuously insincere “It’s really sweet Cynthia would throw a party for her BFF. It inspires us to be kind and sweet to each other.”
4) Then she pulls NeNe to the side right in front of Cynthia and tries to befriend her by saying that Cynthia’s negative impression of Kenya shouldn’t impact NeNe’s efforts to like her. She also mocks Cynthia as a mere “talking head.” Cynthia has no real comeback, just says she’s NOT a “talking head.” Later, to the RHOA cameras, she comes up with some wittier comments, such as: “She’s a very attractive woman. But if you’re ugly on the inside, you’re ugly on the outside.”
Updates on the other women:
- Kandi is moving into her new fancy mansion home with her boyfriend Todd, a pad that impresses Phaedra more so than the dismissive Kim last week.
- The producers attempt to revisit the tiresome Kim Zolciak-NeNe dynamic yet again. Kim shows up to Cynthia’s party for NeNe but leaves just as NeNe arrives. NeNe tries to be conciliatory again but Kim is her usual jerk-ish self. NeNe wants Kim to stay five minutes to hear NeNe’s speech but Kim says she’s running 40 minutes late to get home yada yada yada. Then Kim lies and says she’s going to the bathroom and will be back to hear NeNe. She leaves. Classy, that Kim, as always.
- NeNe gets emotional at a Pride event in Los Angeles to promote “The New Normal.” She’s taken aback how much love she gets from the gays. She even brings her teen son Brentt along. Gregg, her ex husband, pops in at the last second. It seems like they’ve reconciled.
- Phaedra works out with NeNe and Cynthia at one point at Buckhead’s Body Sculptor, owned by ‘The Biggest Loser” trainer Dolvett Quince, but Dolvett isn’t the trainer. Phaedra also noted earlier in the episode she wants another baby.
- Based on the trailers, Porsha Williams Stewart finally shows up in the third episode and quickly comes to blows with Kenya. Of course.
“I’m not used to living in a crammed space. We need every square foot of a 17,000 square foot space.” - Kim Zolciak, acknowledging a problem 99.9% of the population does not have.
“Were you before or after Vanessa Williams?” - Cynthia, trying to ding 41-year-old Kenya Moore, who is much younger than Williams.
“If Miss USA could take her gown, her sash and her crown and just wave her way right out the door, I’d be very happy.” - Cynthia.
Although there were signs people were getting tired of the show last season, “Real Housewives of Atlanta” came back strong last week. The fifth season opener debuted at a solid 3.2 million viewers. That’s actually the highest opening ever for the show. This is up from the 2.9 million viewers that opened last season. The show averaged 2.8 million viewers last season and a peak 2.9 million viewers season three.